Community Tragedy

The news is filled with tragedy. Such tragedies as the senseless killing of Kelly Hunnewell, a baker and mother of four children ages 6-13, are far too common in our news today. Not to mention people's weigh-ins on such tragedies via Facebook, Twitter and other forms of social media. Upon the arrest of two 18 year-olds and a 16 year-old in the killing of Kelly Hunnewell, several South Carolinians commented with posts and tweets like, "Good. I hope they get the death sentence. Don't want my tax-payer dollars keeping them alive," "No sympathy for the murders, no matter how young they are" "The 16 year-old acted like an adult, let him be tried like an adult," and I could go on and on with like comments, posts and tweets that had the three convicted before any formal trial. My initial reaction when I read that three boys not even out of their teens had been arrested was, "How did they get there? How did they come to be murderers?" I can't imagine that someone wakes up one day thinking today is a good day to murder someone. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, and so there are probably people who crave to kill. I am a Dexter aficionado after all. But for the most part, I think it can be argued that most people do not wake up suddenly desiring to murder. The boys arrested are said to have "long criminal records;" they were not made murders in one day, but had a history that all who read might surmise that such a history of violence and crime would lead to murder. At what point did a parent, a friend, a teacher, a coach, a pastor, a fellow church member, someone in their life speak a hard-to-hear-truth, a reality-check that could have changed their future criminal trajectory? Where in their past did it all go wrong? 

I by no means think they shouldn't receive the consequences befitting of their crime. I am not trying to blame anyone else in this horrible act of senseless murder; they are responsible for their actions. At 16 and 18 years-old people ought to know the difference between right and wrong, and therefore they must be tried and punished for their crime. But I do, upon reading stories of such relatively young people committing heinous acts of violence, wonder how could have their community been their for them? Maybe you're thinking, "It's none of my business. It's the parents job to raise their kids." Yes, it is, but not all of us have been born into equally loving, giving, disciplining families who teach and model for us right. The world is not fair, and that is a fact of life. Some people are born where both nature and nurture are working against them. 

On craigslist there is a section called "Missed Connections" where you can, upon briefly having met someone, put out an ad searching for the person whom you briefly made a connection. We daily have many missed connections, missed opportunities to say and do something that could have made a difference. Not too long ago, I had a friend who I used to run and ride bikes with who committed suicide. A few weeks before she took her life, I noticed she was very down, and then a couple days before she died, I felt like I should call her and ask her to go to for a run or a bike, but I didn't. I was too busy with me that I didn't want to take the time to go see her. I don't know if my call or invitation to run or ride would have made a difference, but I will always wonder, "What if..." 

I don't like the "What if's" of life. At the root of "what if" is regret, and regret is often irreversible and can weigh heavy on the heart and mind for years. What if I had said something, she would still be here. What if I had done something, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. What if I had talked to him, maybe he wouldn't have done that. What if I had showed love to her when she needed it, maybe she wouldn't have gone off the deep end. What if I chose to forgive, maybe they would made a different decision. I would bet that we all come into contact with friends, acquaintances, or strangers whom we know we should say something--something that could make a difference. Too often with such "missed connections" there is no going back; once missed, it is simply a missed opportunity that we cannot use craigslist or a time machine to change. But we can learn from these "missed connections," not letting such important connections slip by so easily. 

We live in a very over-individualistic culture where we keep to ourselves and expect others to do the same. "It's none of their business" or similar variations is the standard mantra of the day for keeping relationships in the shallow end. How dare you try to interfere in my personal life! No one wants that, right? I bet right about now as those three teenage boys are sitting in their cell, they're probably wishing someone had been there for them to speak a hard-to-hear lesson that invaded their personal lives, but didn't lead them down the road to spending the rest of their lives in an orange jumpsuit. I also think there are people in their lives going through the "What if" questions, retracing missed connections that led up to their violent crime. 

From the newspaper and such stories as the murder of Kelly Hunnewell, it's evident that our world is plagued by needless violence and senseless crime. But what are you doing about it? Perhaps you are not contributing to the violence and crime. Good for you. But by not doing anything to add to the violence, by keeping silent, are you working to bring about a safer, less violent and crime riddled world? I think Christ calls us to be more proactive than just not being like "them." Jesus tells a story in Luke 18, "The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax-collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”